Wow!! Are we really coming to the end of 2012? This year has been such a whirlwind of emotions, ups and downs, and many triumphs - I can't wait to see what 2013 has in store for us and Mr. Cade!
As a mother of a child who has Autism or any delays your heart sinks a little bit every time you see a neurotypical child around the same age or even younger doing and saying things your child should have done months ago. The older my child gets the more painfully obvious his gaps become. Don't get me wrong, therapy has helped us so much and who knows where he would be without it -- but I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't make me feel a little sad when I see kids much much younger doing so much more. It makes all of our hard work and progress seem insignificant! Oh Cade can do this, this, and this now. "Oh myyyy child was doing that a year ago." Yeah well walk a day in my shoes and you'll understand why I work SO dang hard for every word, sign, piece of progress we make -- and drill it over and over again so it sticks! I have to remind myself of this too, even when parents are sweet and say things like he's made a lot of progress, your doing a good job, any progress still puts him behind where he should be and makes me feel like I'm not doing enough for him. Thats just a leo mommy thing I think! Thankfully Cade is still young enough where a lot of people see him and say oh he seems normal to me? (Thanks, I didn't know my child wasn't normal by the way.) But then get strange looks when we have a melt down at sears because I wont let him play with the display carseats and strollers and the huge meltdown it becomes. (Trust me, the times we've let him play with them no time limit is enough, its easier to walk away or avoid it all together!) This is acceptable behavior being a little under three but what about when he's four, five, six... or god forbid that 8 year old I saw wailing on the floor because he was too tired to walk -- is that what we have to look forward to?
Anyways, This post is supposed to really be about how far we've come and a wrap up of our year. It's easy to get caught up in the frustrations and struggles of the autism roller coaster but we really do have things to be thankful for this year. At the beginning of 2012 when we were first getting our diagnosis and undergoing all of the medical testing Cade could only say mama, would really only play with thomas the train, couldn't make a mark on a piece of paper with a crayon, anything involving fine motor activities seemed impossible to accomplish. (Even stacking more than 2 blocks, doing simple shape puzzles, or being ale to communicate when he was hungry were all daily challenges!)
Now Mr Cade has 24 signs and can communicate WHAT he wants with us and trust me he knows what he wants! While he still really does like thomas the train, he is beginning to love other things. He is really into calliou and zooboomafo, and even starting to really like bob the builder! He can color and is begining to try and trace, and even use scissors. (He's not great but even knowing what scissors do and trying to find a way to get them to work is progress!) He LOVES playing baseball and hockey which is irritating to my husband who has a collection of hockey sticks on the walls in the basement that "aren't toys!" One of his therapists at the center must be playing baseball with him because he has this cutest little baseball stance! I see t-ball in our future! :)
He is also adapting so well to all of his new found wooden toys that we've gotten him and will play endlessly with them! We trying to focus more on toys that he has to manipulate to get to work -- because lets be honest hot wheels, trains, and trucks are super cool and we still love those, but all you really have to do is move them back and forth and occasionally crash them! We got him a whole bunch of new toys that really inspire imagination, creativity, or that you have to interact with to get to work (some melissa and doug food cutting sets where they stick together with velcro and you have to chop them apart really working on that fine motor and muscle control, some new chef toys, a wooden castle "dollhouse", interactive drill toys that will actually design a picture when you drill in the pegs, snap matching toys that you really have to press to get into place, ect. The one battery operated toy that santa told me he was bringing him is this glow in the dark race track that you can build SO many different ways. I see countless hours of building and creativity ahead! He must be playing with similar toys at ABA therapy because at his occupational therapy appointment she had a new puzzle for him that had 3 large shapes and he did that puzzle so DANG fast I did a double take. That is definitely a new skill. Matching objects and shapes is super challenging for him due to some visual processing issues he has. Thankfully this looks like its getting MUCH MUCH better!
He has been doing so incredibly well since he has started ABA therapy he really needs that structure. While a lot of people don't understand how matching puzzle shapes, similar color bears, and signing can shape and impact his future its been clearly obvious to us. As soon as he has some of those basic skills down it makes everything else so much simpler! It's like trying to do algebra before you know how to subtract, minus, and multiply. Math makes a lot more sense when you have those basic skills down! Two months of ABA therapy has made SO much progress with what he is able to do and how he is able to communicate with us -- his vocalization is getting so much better too! He still can't say a whole lot for actual words but you can start to tell yep he's trying to say ball, spoon, bowl, ect. I can't wait to see where we are after 6 more months of therapy!
In the new year his schedule will look something like this:
Monday 8:30-2 therapy
Tuesday 8:30-12 therapy 12:15-1:15 occupational therapy
Weds 8:30-12 therapy, 2:00-3:00 early childhood therapies
Thursday 9-12 therapy 1:15-2:15 speech therapy
Friday 9-2 therapy
Come summer, I am going to have to figure out where to fit preschool into this schedule. It is a lot for a little boy but the progress he's made is so worth it!
Friday, December 21, 2012
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Cades Quirks
People always ask me how we knew that Cade was autistic. I mean, its not completely out of the realm of normal neurological development for a child to be under the age of 3 or even over the age of 3 and not be talking. Cade can seem perfectly neurotypical in one moment and autistic in the next. So how did we know?
Routines
* Cade co-sleeps with us. Usually my husband lays on one side of the bed, I lay on the other, and Cade is sandwiched between us. Well one night I wanted a backrub and put Cade on the other side of me and he kept shaking his head, crying, and pointing. The minute I moved back to my "spot" he smiled and was fine.
* My husband took my car to work with him one day so he could get the oil changed in it leaving us his vehicle. This led to a 45 minute crying/tantrum in the car because it wasn't "my" car. No amount of consoling helped him. He still gets very upset if we do not take the same car or if his driver that takes him to school has a different color van that day.
Obsessions
* Cade has several obsessions. I thought how much he liked thomas the train was an obsession. Having to carry them constnatly around the house, playing in back and forth motions for hours. Well thomas has nothin' on the garage door, the carseat, or my car keys. Cade is our reserved garage door opener person. Anytime we leave or come home he has to be the one to open the garage door so the garage door opener pretty much permanently lives in his cup holder. When we get home opening it and closing it once isn't enough he has to do it as many times as possible and no matter how many times we let him do it, it still results in a huge melt down and head banging because we don't want the motor to burn out. This is the same case with my car keys or carseat strap buckles, stroller buckles (or purse buckles, ect) He could sit there for hours and hours buckling and unbuckling the carseat or straps. If we take them away or re-direct him from messing with someones poor stroller at the mall it ends with a huge inconsolable melt down.
Quirks
* Even from infancy cade wouldn't touch a fruit or a vegetable period. I know I know, most kids like veggies or fruit its normal, ect -- but when I mean not one -- I mean not one. We got him to taste a strawberry one time and even eat pineapple when he had a cold once but never again did that happen. The only way I can get him to consume any fruit or veggie is to physically hide it in a smoothie or shake but his ability to spot it is pretty amazing he can taste it the gagging, and heaving starts. The only meat he will eat is hot dogs and processed chicken nuggets which I'm pretty sure has no to little actual meat ingredient in it.
* Cade has super sensitive hearing. He is to the door before I even know that anyone had even pulled in the driveway. He covers his ears in the shopping cart if the store is too loud, and public restrooms are a nightmare because the echo so badly, but at home he tunes out a lot of the middle sounds. If its not super quiet or super loud he's not as responsive.
Never Complains
* This sounds like a silly "symptom" but even when he was a baby and we were past the horrifying colic stage Cade never complained or would cry for anything if we were out of the house. We could be in the car for 5 hours and not once would he cry or make a peep for a diaper change, bottle, ect. If we were outside you wouldn't know that I had a kid with me he was so quiet taking everything in. Now that he's older he will occasionally make some noise if he sees something really cool or if he sees his sister have something he wants but otherwise he could still go all day without making a peep for anything.
Mommy Insticts
*There are many more little things that I could list that tipped us off that there may be a problem but the main thing was my mommy instict and that is worth its weight in gold. There is nothing more powerful than the knowledge a mother has in her gut for her child. Don't settle for drs who say lets wait and see, or drs who try and belittle that instict. You are that childs' mother and you know best.
Routines
* Cade co-sleeps with us. Usually my husband lays on one side of the bed, I lay on the other, and Cade is sandwiched between us. Well one night I wanted a backrub and put Cade on the other side of me and he kept shaking his head, crying, and pointing. The minute I moved back to my "spot" he smiled and was fine.
* My husband took my car to work with him one day so he could get the oil changed in it leaving us his vehicle. This led to a 45 minute crying/tantrum in the car because it wasn't "my" car. No amount of consoling helped him. He still gets very upset if we do not take the same car or if his driver that takes him to school has a different color van that day.
Obsessions
* Cade has several obsessions. I thought how much he liked thomas the train was an obsession. Having to carry them constnatly around the house, playing in back and forth motions for hours. Well thomas has nothin' on the garage door, the carseat, or my car keys. Cade is our reserved garage door opener person. Anytime we leave or come home he has to be the one to open the garage door so the garage door opener pretty much permanently lives in his cup holder. When we get home opening it and closing it once isn't enough he has to do it as many times as possible and no matter how many times we let him do it, it still results in a huge melt down and head banging because we don't want the motor to burn out. This is the same case with my car keys or carseat strap buckles, stroller buckles (or purse buckles, ect) He could sit there for hours and hours buckling and unbuckling the carseat or straps. If we take them away or re-direct him from messing with someones poor stroller at the mall it ends with a huge inconsolable melt down.
Quirks
* Even from infancy cade wouldn't touch a fruit or a vegetable period. I know I know, most kids like veggies or fruit its normal, ect -- but when I mean not one -- I mean not one. We got him to taste a strawberry one time and even eat pineapple when he had a cold once but never again did that happen. The only way I can get him to consume any fruit or veggie is to physically hide it in a smoothie or shake but his ability to spot it is pretty amazing he can taste it the gagging, and heaving starts. The only meat he will eat is hot dogs and processed chicken nuggets which I'm pretty sure has no to little actual meat ingredient in it.
* Cade has super sensitive hearing. He is to the door before I even know that anyone had even pulled in the driveway. He covers his ears in the shopping cart if the store is too loud, and public restrooms are a nightmare because the echo so badly, but at home he tunes out a lot of the middle sounds. If its not super quiet or super loud he's not as responsive.
Never Complains
* This sounds like a silly "symptom" but even when he was a baby and we were past the horrifying colic stage Cade never complained or would cry for anything if we were out of the house. We could be in the car for 5 hours and not once would he cry or make a peep for a diaper change, bottle, ect. If we were outside you wouldn't know that I had a kid with me he was so quiet taking everything in. Now that he's older he will occasionally make some noise if he sees something really cool or if he sees his sister have something he wants but otherwise he could still go all day without making a peep for anything.
Mommy Insticts
*There are many more little things that I could list that tipped us off that there may be a problem but the main thing was my mommy instict and that is worth its weight in gold. There is nothing more powerful than the knowledge a mother has in her gut for her child. Don't settle for drs who say lets wait and see, or drs who try and belittle that instict. You are that childs' mother and you know best.
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